Friday, April 12, 2013

I'll See You Soon

"I'll see you soon." That's our signature phrase. I used it in my first letter to him and it has stuck with us now. :)

Today, I told him my final face-to-face "I'll see you soon." For the next eleven months my "I'll see you soon"s will be told in letters, e-mails, and the occasional calls/Skype calls. I don't think that reality has completely hit me yet. I fear the moment it will hit me, but for now, I am going to accept God's grace. I need this numbness to last as much as possible...

I took him to the armory this morning and I got to see him stand in formation. And even though I was fighting back tears, I felt so very proud to see him and all his battle buddies stand side by side. They were standing there and all I could think was They have each other's backs. They are going to take care of each other and they will take care of us. He is going to be okay. After they got dismissed, I got to spend about forty-five minutes with him and his battle buddies. I have to admit that saying goodbye to them was VERY hard too. They have all become a part of my heart and my life and I CANNOT wait until I get to see all of them again. I am going to miss them.

But, I am going to miss my soldier the most. I am going to miss my heart; I am going to miss my soul. When I told him goodbye today, I did not want to let him go. I held on to him. I held on to his uniform. I held on to my home. Letting him go was the heardest thing I've ever had to do and this is why I am grateful for the numbness that has taken a hold of me. I am thankful for the chance to catch my breath and get my feet on the ground before the full wave of sadness/realization hits me. I am going to miss my soldier more than I can even begin to imagine right now, but I know that all my memories will keep me going. My memories will keep me going until I see him again. And before I know it, I'll see you soon.

"Let's don't say goodbye, I hate the way it sounds, so if you don't mind let's just say for now...I'll see you when I see you and I hope its some day real soon." -Jason Aldean-

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